Me, My Kids, and Magellan
It's not at all the norm, and we know that we've been blessed. It's in an affliction that we have to live with.
Oh I've heard the stories told by fathers and mothers alike of the baby that won't sleep, can't sleep or has no internal clock representative of the time zone for which they live.
As I've already acknowledged, we've been blessed. Of our five children all were sleeping through the night at 4-6 months (depending). Of our five children, none were colicky. Of our five children, none of them are good at being sick. None. Sleep is something of an enigma to our sick children. "Rest" I say, "Sleep will make you feel better" I tout. Nope. Not happening.
The bulk of this terror affects my wife. As a homeschooling family she takes on this insane rush of coughing, sneezing or heaven forbid vomiting all day - while simultaneously providing an education to the healthy ones. She's the glue that bonds this family and without her sunny disposition on the bad days, the good ones would not exist - in essence, she's a superhero.
Much like the comics that we all read and love she traverses the dangers of parenthood, forgoing her own safety to ensure the righteous defeat of the superfluous evil doers that infect our household and the residents thereof. She needs a cape - **mental note: Get wife a cape.
So it's not the norm that my 18 month old is awake, sneezing, coughing and feverish at all hours of the night. Knowing it's not normal does make it easier - in fact, I would argue that it makes it worse. I'm not a sleeper. I average 4-5 hours of sleep a night regardless of how early I hit the rack, but I need my 4-5 hours.
My wife is a sleeper. She would sleep for 12 hours if she could, but she gets her 8 hours, rises, feeds kids, dresses kids, and attacks her day like a lion conquers the gazelle.
However - making matters worse - we are blessed and thereby have an affliction. We are used to our routine, and have not developed the "long game" that some parents are forced to perfect. When we lose sleep we lose something we are not used to losing, thereby causing a cascading plethora of repercussions, including but not limited to forgetfulness, irritation, impatience and of course a lack of attention span. It's a pain the sweet release of strong black coffee can not eliminate.
Not to disappoint those of you reading this but I have a day job, much like my wife does homeschooling our children and gluing our house together. We both suffer though admittedly she gets the raw end of the deal, because I get to leave during the day. I get to take my wavering mental state off to another location and adult - while she gets to be THE adult among a torrential downpour of sneezing, coughing, and grumbling protesters.
Our tiny room-mates that on most days are tidy and mostly well mannered are inhabited by their alter egos to terrorize the fabric of our fair city. They menace our social structure with complaints and grievances. With what feels like zero empathy for their fellow villains they terrorize the very fabric of kid-dom.
Now I know this sounds a bit over dramatic, but as parents my wife and I are outnumbered. Given the odds of a mutiny we have a responsibility to ensure the safety of the healthy citizens. As the reluctant but beautiful team leader, and effectively the most powerful of our duo my wife takes the lead in issuing quarantine orders, blockading passage and controlling the flow of the sick. Not to be deterred much like **Magellan she ensures the survival of us all by striding headstrong into the fray to take on the infection without remorse killing it with soups, tissues and vapor rub.
**Magellan was a Portuguese explorer who was the first person in history to circumnavigate the globe, and was the first European to reach the Philippine Islands. Obviously he also discovered the Strait of Magellan. His short story of badassery is: Magellan agreed to kill Lapu-Lapu for the Philippine King. His crew landed on Lapu's home island of Mactan, however, Lapu apparently knew they were coming, because he had an army waiting. Magellan was hit with a poison dart almost immediately, but he trucked onward into the mass of native warriors, possibly shouting the Portuguese equivalent of "Avengers Assemble!" as he did so. He was stabbed in the face with a bamboo spear, to which he responded by burying his lance in the attacker. Magellan tried to draw his sword to keep fighting, but his arm was slashed and soon his leg was as well, and he fell to the ground more or less dying. The natives then surrounded him and began stabbing and clubbing him as he lay defenseless. He kept looking up to see if his crew had made it safely back to their boats and, upon seeing that they finally had, Magellan allowed himself to die. I like to think that with his last breath, he screamed and chucked a spear that left a single cut in Lapu's cheek.
Yeah - I just compared my wife to Magellan. Hows that for equality?
That was the last few days, not in detail but I hit the highlights. Now here I sit smacking fingers to keys, trying not to cough or sneeze between chills. Magellan lay suffering in near silence on the couch under five blankets after battling the demon infection. Our tiny room-mates, now cured by Magellan and her resourcefulness are back to normal, slumbering and mostly recovered.
We have taken on the infection in an effort to draw the evil from our home to battle it internally thereby ensuring the survival of us all. "But the fewer heroes the greater share of honor....we in it shall be remembered - We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me - Shall be my brother..."
If you enjoyed hearing of our suffering please like and share - if you have similar horror stories feel free to comment. Now if you will excuse me, I need another blanket.
http://bit.ly/2ntWG3q
Oh I've heard the stories told by fathers and mothers alike of the baby that won't sleep, can't sleep or has no internal clock representative of the time zone for which they live.
As I've already acknowledged, we've been blessed. Of our five children all were sleeping through the night at 4-6 months (depending). Of our five children, none were colicky. Of our five children, none of them are good at being sick. None. Sleep is something of an enigma to our sick children. "Rest" I say, "Sleep will make you feel better" I tout. Nope. Not happening.
The bulk of this terror affects my wife. As a homeschooling family she takes on this insane rush of coughing, sneezing or heaven forbid vomiting all day - while simultaneously providing an education to the healthy ones. She's the glue that bonds this family and without her sunny disposition on the bad days, the good ones would not exist - in essence, she's a superhero.
Much like the comics that we all read and love she traverses the dangers of parenthood, forgoing her own safety to ensure the righteous defeat of the superfluous evil doers that infect our household and the residents thereof. She needs a cape - **mental note: Get wife a cape.
So it's not the norm that my 18 month old is awake, sneezing, coughing and feverish at all hours of the night. Knowing it's not normal does make it easier - in fact, I would argue that it makes it worse. I'm not a sleeper. I average 4-5 hours of sleep a night regardless of how early I hit the rack, but I need my 4-5 hours.
My wife is a sleeper. She would sleep for 12 hours if she could, but she gets her 8 hours, rises, feeds kids, dresses kids, and attacks her day like a lion conquers the gazelle.
However - making matters worse - we are blessed and thereby have an affliction. We are used to our routine, and have not developed the "long game" that some parents are forced to perfect. When we lose sleep we lose something we are not used to losing, thereby causing a cascading plethora of repercussions, including but not limited to forgetfulness, irritation, impatience and of course a lack of attention span. It's a pain the sweet release of strong black coffee can not eliminate.
Not to disappoint those of you reading this but I have a day job, much like my wife does homeschooling our children and gluing our house together. We both suffer though admittedly she gets the raw end of the deal, because I get to leave during the day. I get to take my wavering mental state off to another location and adult - while she gets to be THE adult among a torrential downpour of sneezing, coughing, and grumbling protesters.
Our tiny room-mates that on most days are tidy and mostly well mannered are inhabited by their alter egos to terrorize the fabric of our fair city. They menace our social structure with complaints and grievances. With what feels like zero empathy for their fellow villains they terrorize the very fabric of kid-dom.
Now I know this sounds a bit over dramatic, but as parents my wife and I are outnumbered. Given the odds of a mutiny we have a responsibility to ensure the safety of the healthy citizens. As the reluctant but beautiful team leader, and effectively the most powerful of our duo my wife takes the lead in issuing quarantine orders, blockading passage and controlling the flow of the sick. Not to be deterred much like **Magellan she ensures the survival of us all by striding headstrong into the fray to take on the infection without remorse killing it with soups, tissues and vapor rub.
**Magellan was a Portuguese explorer who was the first person in history to circumnavigate the globe, and was the first European to reach the Philippine Islands. Obviously he also discovered the Strait of Magellan. His short story of badassery is: Magellan agreed to kill Lapu-Lapu for the Philippine King. His crew landed on Lapu's home island of Mactan, however, Lapu apparently knew they were coming, because he had an army waiting. Magellan was hit with a poison dart almost immediately, but he trucked onward into the mass of native warriors, possibly shouting the Portuguese equivalent of "Avengers Assemble!" as he did so. He was stabbed in the face with a bamboo spear, to which he responded by burying his lance in the attacker. Magellan tried to draw his sword to keep fighting, but his arm was slashed and soon his leg was as well, and he fell to the ground more or less dying. The natives then surrounded him and began stabbing and clubbing him as he lay defenseless. He kept looking up to see if his crew had made it safely back to their boats and, upon seeing that they finally had, Magellan allowed himself to die. I like to think that with his last breath, he screamed and chucked a spear that left a single cut in Lapu's cheek.
Yeah - I just compared my wife to Magellan. Hows that for equality?
That was the last few days, not in detail but I hit the highlights. Now here I sit smacking fingers to keys, trying not to cough or sneeze between chills. Magellan lay suffering in near silence on the couch under five blankets after battling the demon infection. Our tiny room-mates, now cured by Magellan and her resourcefulness are back to normal, slumbering and mostly recovered.
We have taken on the infection in an effort to draw the evil from our home to battle it internally thereby ensuring the survival of us all. "But the fewer heroes the greater share of honor....we in it shall be remembered - We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me - Shall be my brother..."
If you enjoyed hearing of our suffering please like and share - if you have similar horror stories feel free to comment. Now if you will excuse me, I need another blanket.
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